When things go beyond tacky.

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djfatman

Marketing Moderator
I have a wedding coming up in January that I'm already regretting taking. Let me set the scenario up for you. The bride is 65 (looks much younger) and the groom is 70. She is definitely the alpha personality in this relationship, and is the one demanding a large wedding and reception. He's just going along to placate her. But, I can deal with that. They live in a very large up-scale home in a gated community, and they drive very expensive luxury cars. Have you figured out where this is going, yet?

She is insisting on doing a Money Dance. What!? Why in the world would they want to do a Money Dance? You guessed it! Because it's tradition. This is also 2nd and 3rd marriages for them. On their invitations (which they ordered from us), they put, "In lieu of gifts, we are having a money tree." Are you kidding?

She also said they recently attended a wedding in New York, where the DJ had all these games he played with the guests, and wanted the same thing for her wedding reception. Normally, this would be fine. I can do that. However, considering the age of the couple and the probable age of the guests, I can see this falling flat. I could be wrong, but I think I've been doing this long enough to know what may or may not work and for what group.

I tried to tactfully explain my apprehension, but she wasn't listening. She knew what she wanted, regardless of what anyone else thought. Don't get me wrong, I will be the very best professional I can and will give her the reception she wants. I just think that the whole thing will come off very cheesy and tacky. Perhaps, the tackiest wedding I've ever done, and I've done quite a few.

So, what's the tackiest wedding you've ever done? I would love to hear the stories.
 

KennyZail

Caffiend
I agree to leave your feelings at the door, don't set yourself up for failure. You never know what their guests are like - they might think, "this is a hoot!". I've been WRONG enough times to know not to presume anything. Plus (they might be up to their necks in debt to live where they are.)
 

bill_smith

MobileBeat Moderator
Staff member
In the South, unless you have families(at least one) that understand and are familiar with the concept of the money dance, this is a disaster waiting to happen. I had such an event back in 1999, and both families were southern bred and unfamiliar with the concept. Although I explained this in detail in the consult, the bride insisted on going through with it.

So I carefully explained it at the reception, and of course had my gatekeepers the maid of honor and Best man present to "collect". $8.00 later, I segued into a slow dance set to mercy kill it.

On the other hand, I did a money dance in 2001 with two families originally from from Ohio, and it lasted an hour.
 

chubbyb

New Member
I had a wedding very recently where not only did the bride want the "Dollar Dance" but they also had a cash bar - how many times can you ask your guests to go into their pocket at a reception?
 

Mark Bloom

Member
I did many weddings when I lived in Ohio, and never had to do a money dance. I did attend one wedding where it was done, and it was the tackiest thing I ever saw (and this was a young couple). Most guests agreed (it was the family that pushed for it). 25+ years later, when I think of this couple, I remember the tacky money dance. Asking for money, dancing for money, cash bars... all are in very bad taste. It can't be excused by "tradition".
 

KennyZail

Caffiend
[ It can't be excused by "tradition".[/QUOTE]

ANYTHING can be explained by "tradition". :)
Taking a piece of cloth, putting it around your neck and then tying a knot so it's nice and tight.
Making STOP signs with 8 sides.
Writing from left to right.
 

Ken Heath

Super Moderator...da-ta-daaa!!!
Staff member
The Money Dance became a wedding tradition back in the days of living in villages and having no stores to buy presents, everyone in the village attended the event and gave coins in lieu of store-bought presents to dance with the bride so the newlyweds could afford to set up housekeeping.

Nowadays it's the most crass and greedy middle finger you can give your guests... it's like the B&G saying "GIVE ME:

* a whole day of your time
* an expensive present or a card with cash, (or both)
* all your own travel expenses (and lodging for the out-of-towners)
... and then I'm going to put you on-the-spot publicly to hand me undisclosed sums of cash in the name of tradition, even though it hasn't been a tradition in either family most likely for centuries"

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme...

If I never had to do another one, I'd be okay with that.

(and don't get me started on releasing tables... another thankless chore that just makes you look like an a-hole) :p
 

UNDJ

Member
I had a wedding veryrecently where not only did the bride want the "Dollar Dance" butthey also had a cash bar - how many times can you ask your guests to go intotheir pocket at a reception?

I see that a lot. There's a bad and a good with it. The bad is thatit's incredibly tacky. The good is that the reception usually dies outright after so I can go home early, LOL.

A few other tacky ones come to mind...

August 2005: Bride has dry reception and no meal but DOESN'T TELL THEGUESTS on the invitations! Dinner (if you want to call it that) was a"dessert buffet" (pies and other pastries). There was a lot ofanger in that room. Yup, and they had the nerve to do a DollarDance! It was over in 2 songs, and the reception ended about a half hour later.

November 2006: Bride had an outdoor ceremony when it was 45 degreesoutside and windy as all get out. Several family members and theofficiant tried to talk her into moving it inside but she (and her MomZilla)refused to budge. The poor Grandpa almost froze to death. Then, theguests were offered appetizers for dinner (mozzarella sticks, chicken chunks,etc.) and that was it! Many guests asked me "When is the real dinnerstarting?" Again, you bet they did a Dollar Dance! The mominsisted (she was a real piece of work).

I'm from the Great Lakes region and I had to do a dry wedding on OhioState-Michigan day once. Now, holding a wedding on this sacred day isjust idiotic to begin with. The game was already over by the time thereception started, but again, the guests didn't know it was a dryreception until they arrived. Most guests wanted to celebrate a win ordrown a loss. Suddenly, all the guests were united against the B&G,LOL. That one ended up being a dud too, as you can imagine.

I also think it's tacky when the B&G ask "Can we do the DollarDance in a couple minutes, ya know, before everyone starts leaving?" I just think "Wow".

Oh, and the worst is when they make $400 and then don't tip you. Can youslip a brother a $20? Really?

 

Steve Lynch

Well-Known Member
The Money Dance became a wedding tradition back in the days of living in villages and having no stores to buy presents, everyone in the village attended the event and gave coins in lieu of store-bought presents to dance with the bride so the newlyweds could afford to set up housekeeping.

Nowadays it's the most crass and greedy middle finger you can give your guests... it's like the B&G saying "GIVE ME:

* a whole day of your time
* an expensive present or a card with cash, (or both)
* all your own travel expenses (and lodging for the out-of-towners)
... and then I'm going to put you on-the-spot publicly to hand me undisclosed sums of cash in the name of tradition, even though it hasn't been a tradition in either family most likely for centuries"

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme...

If I never had to do another one, I'd be okay with that.

(and don't get me started on releasing tables... another thankless chore that just makes you look like an a-hole) :p


Funny ken, that's almost verbatim what I tell brides when they mention it. I refuse. I do not do money dances. If the bride insists, I tell her to find another DJ. It's nice having the freedom to turn down more brides than you accept. It creates a mystique that makes more brides want you. Money dances are the utmost in Tacky, and I will not be put in that position.

Same with the no cell phone rule. Brides ask people to take 1 and sometimes 2 days out of their life to come watch you get married, and get ignored by her. Sit in the sun all day waiting, sit at the reception waiting... waiting waiting waiting...

This is why I think weddings suck! No one wants to be there, its an obligation. The best we can do as DJ's is make it tolerable. I'd much rather be at the lamest dive bar than the "best wedding reception ever".
 

-bp-

For Position Only
I had a couple do a money dance, then have me announce that all the money was being donated to the local children's hospital. The crowd loved it. But as a rule, for all the already-mentioned reasons and many more, I'm not a fan.
 

Ken Heath

Super Moderator...da-ta-daaa!!!
Staff member
I think we, as a consortium of DJs, should swear and uphold unanimously to play only songs with money in the title... just to underscore the greed!

"Money" - Pink Floyd
"Money" - Barret Strong/Beatles/Flying Lizards
"Five Pound Box Of Money" - Pearl Bailey (only for Christmas weddings)
"Your Cash Ain't Nothin' But Trash" - Huey Lewis & The News
etc., etc., etc...

;)
 

Ausumm

Active Member
The Dollar Dance has slowly faded away (here in Eastern PA) over the years, much to my delight.
But I did have it requested this past Saturday, for a young couple, and it was pretty painless.

First of all, it was an early reception (I was done at 7pm) so people weren't going crazy on the dance floor. So taking a 20-minutes to do the Dollar Dance was a welcome break.
It gave the crowd a chance to get a drink, or use the bathroom, or take a smoke break...and they were eager to get back on the floor when it was over.

Secondly, the groom's line dried up after 6 guests, so the bride jokingly told me to "discount his dance down to 50-cents"...
prompting me to get on the mic and announce, "Attention shoppers. We're now having a Blue Light Special on dances with the groom..."

So maybe if you change your perception of what it MIGHT turn out to be, and treat it as something to have fun with...it will affect everyone else in the room the same way.
Besides, I can see an older crowd enjoying a short break. It's usually the older crowd that appreciates the Dollar Dance more than the youngins'.
 

Bobby D

Member
The dollar dance was on the list of events for a few couples this year, but most of them got cut out when the time came. That's because I open the dance floor prior to that, and if guests are having fun dancing the dollar dance is no longer a priority to the bride. I tell brides the point of the dollar dance is to get close with loved ones, not to raise money. I also tell them that it usually takes too long and gets boring.

Tacky or bad planning? Had a reception with no appetizers this year because the parents of the groom decided it was over their budget a couple of days before the wedding.
 

djtunes

Checking Reality
I tell people if they don't have a dollar just write some special message or advice on a napkin to bring up and get in on the fun. Share some smiles and a moment with Jon or Kat.

Thanks to possibly Scott Faver for that one?

They opt in for it at about 60% of my receptions.
 

djfatman

Marketing Moderator
I think we, as a consortium of DJs, should swear and uphold unanimously to play only songs with money in the title... just to underscore the greed!

"Money" - Pink Floyd
"Money" - Barret Strong/Beatles/Flying Lizards
"Five Pound Box Of Money" - Pearl Bailey (only for Christmas weddings)
"Your Cash Ain't Nothin' But Trash" - Huey Lewis & The News
etc., etc., etc...

;)

You could also add every other rap song. "Hundred dollar bills, y'all."
 
Interesting read. Since I am in the process of planning my own wedding, my fiance and I have been having some discussion about this. Since we are paying for the wedding ourselves, we will be doing a mix of things. We are providing the beer, soda, water, but the other drinks will be cash. We won't be doing a dollar dance, for many of the reasons listed. We are doing lots of food, so, hopefully, no one will go hungry. Also, we are seriously considering doing the majority of pics beforehand, so the reception can get started earlier. Any thoughts on that one? As a DJ, I hate waiting around for pictures to finish...
 

DJ PAUL W

Certifiable Member
The tackiest thing I have ever encountered? The brides mom said, "There will be NO alcohol at the reception" Ok fine by me but the groom had other ideas. So all the booze was out in the parking lot. The bride , her mom and her aunt were the only ones in the reception. After about an hour the groom had a couple drinks in him and was counseled by a few of the groomsmen he grew a set and decided carry the box of booze into the reception with the rest of the party in tow. Momma saw what was going on and immediately stormed over and over the music yelled "I SAID NO ALCOHOL!!!!" He turned around tail between his legs entourage in tow back out to the parking lot.

Paul
 

nextgen1

The Next Generation DJ
I hate them yet I do them all the time. I wish I could be like Stephen, But doing the money dance is fairly common in California. So I do it and give my standard 150 percent to make it a success.
 
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