HELP! kidnapping of the bride

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JasonAbbate

The Resident DJ
My B&G for tomorrow just made a last min change, no dollar/money dance. Now they want to do the kidnapping of the bride. I could use all the info I can, seeing how Ive never done this nor have heard of it. Please help. Thanks guys
 

unlimitedsounds

Active Member
we did this at an event a few years ago.. I hated it.. basically they kidnap the bride and then made an announcement (not me but someone else in the wedding) that she was kidnapped and it will take as much money as possible to get her back. Everyone gave money and then she came back ..

I think it is tacky because everyone already gave a gift and now you are asking for more from everyone

now I dont know if that is what you are talking about.. Here is some additional info

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090822195358AA8Tyf5
 

djstevieray

Somewhere On Hoth
I hate it, it kills the mood of the reception, and I have seen it last a half hour or more. This is a 1/2 hour when no one dances, and the photographer get's pissed, because it delays other events etc. But they're the boss.
 

djsarge

Active Member
Try to talk them out of it. Very tacky and low class. Did it once and I felt so bad for the groom. One of the most embarrassing things I've ever done at any event.
 

emj123

Member
Ditto, what everyone said about this kidnapping thing AND the friggin dollar/money dance!!! Tacky, low class, reception ruining concept.
 

djmm

Active Member
Are you guys kidding me?

If that is what the bride & groom want, that is what they get!

It's not tacky, it's not low class... in some families it is called TRADITION.

You may not like it, I may not like it but it is something they want done.

Get off your high horses and make it the best it can be. It's NOT YOUR WEDDING, it's theirs.

Scott
 

djfatman

Marketing Moderator
Are you guys kidding me?

If that is what the bride & groom want, that is what they get!

It's not tacky, it's not low class... in some families it is called TRADITION.

You may not like it, I may not like it but it is something they want done.

Get off your high horses and make it the best it can be. It's NOT YOUR WEDDING, it's theirs.

Scott
Then, Scott, might I suggest you give Jason the info he's seeking? If there's a classy way of doing it, I think we all would like to know. Personally, I've never done it, so I have no experience with it.
 

Kacimlangford

Bose L1 Double B1 DJ
I have never done a "Money" stealing of the bride. But here in the past the Groomsmen would steal the Bride and Bridesmaids would steal the Groom and leave and go bar hopping. I hate it.

It happened at my wedding and my wife was gone for over an hour.

It doesn't happen much here anymore that I know of.
 

djsarge

Active Member
Yea, let me know a classy way to do this because I talk it down. Part of our job is to make suggestions to our clients and their guests have a fun memorabe event. If they insist, then do the best you can with it.
 

djmm

Active Member
My comments were in response of everyone's comments saying to not do it or to talk her out of it....

Here's a suggestion... Ask the bride EXACTLY how SHE wants it done. Then you can't go wrong.

I have been doing this 23 years and I NEVER claim to know everything. If I haven't done or seen something, I tell the couple to tell me exactly what they want me to do and I will do it.

But to try and talk a bride OUT of something just won't happen!

Scott
 

djstevieray

Somewhere On Hoth
Scott,
I never said I won't do it...In fact I said "But they're the Boss"

I just gave an opinion, by past experience of what he may expect, especially if the Bride is gone for an extended length of time.
 

Bobby D

Member
There's nothing wrong with discussing the down side of a bride's idea. Not speaking up could make the reception worse. Of course you can't come right out and tell her she's wrong. I've never had a request for this myself. Good luck.
 

DJ_Xtreme00

Active Member
I agree with Scotts post on the first page.
Wheter it's tacky, low class or whatever, if they want it, they get it. They are paying you to perform at THEIR wedding.
These types of things ARE NOT your decision.

They are the boss, what they say goes in my book.
 

unlimitedsounds

Active Member
I agree with Scotts post on the first page.
Wheter it's tacky, low class or whatever, if they want it, they get it. They are paying you to perform at THEIR wedding.
These types of things ARE NOT your decision.

They are the boss, what they say goes in my book.
Exactly... BUT I do try to lend my suggestions from years of experience...
 

djsarge

Active Member
Never said I wouldn't do it, I would just try to strongly suggest they NOT do it. Most here don't want a dollar dance either. Works for me.
 

Scott McKinney

Active Member
I did one one time and after it was over, (bride wouldn't come back until they raised $300) there were 8 people left in the room. Everyone else bailed on them. Yeah....I did as they asked and it killed their reception. Played the next 3 hours of a 4 hour reception to a room of 8 drinkers. Not a soul danced. I took their money and moved on the the next event.
Sometimes it's like that.
Unless both sides of the family and the guests know of this tradition and know it's coming, I imagine it can be done successfully but if it's just done as a "money grab" you're on a straight path to disaster. This was my only experience with the "kidnapping" in 32 years of DJing so I'm not sure how it can be presented correctly.
 

hippydog

wuz here when it was Red.
I dont think theirs any way to many it 'less tacky', and as others have said their a chance it can kill the dance (especially if the bride is gone to long)..

sooo..
#1: explain to the bride and groom that being gone too long is a bad thing.. Also have part of the bridal party constantly carping on people for money can really be a mood killer.. They need to have reasonable expectations, and they need to be back in that room in less then 30 minutes..
If they are having a late lunch, then thats probably the best time to do it..

#2: if a bride told me ahead of time that this was happening, i WOULD try and talk her out of it.. but thats me..
Since 90% of the time I find out about this the 'night of'...

the only way I have found to "deal" with it is
a.) ignore it and let them do their thing.
b.) embrace it and make them make it entertaining for the guests..
IE: get the bridal party (or whoever is supposed to collect) on the dance floor, and force them to entertain the guests (by dancing?) until they have collected the required amount.. I actually dont know if this is always entertaining sometimes.. but I immensely enjoy torturing the poor bridal party as they beg for money... LOL ;-)
 
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BBBuffalo

Active Member
They are paying you to perform at THEIR wedding.
These types of things ARE NOT your decision.

They are the boss, what they say goes in my book.
Actually my clients are paying me to make sure they have an incredible night for them and their guests.

If the person in charge of the entertainment does not discuss how something can negatively impact the entertainment value they are doing their client a disservice.

But I also agree with asking them what they had in mind. See if they've got something cool planned.
 
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